Lesson 2 : Etiquette and Netiquette
Unit 3: Lifestyle
A. Read the following statements. Whose statement do you like the most? Why? How do you feel about the others?
Unit 3: Life Style : Lesson 1: Manners around the world
A. Read the Following Statements
Kristi: When I attend any wedding or birthday party, I always wait for the food. As soon as the food is served, I take my portion and immediately after I’ve finished, I leave. I have no time to wait for others. Besides, I don’t know others, so why wait?
Sayem: I live in a flat in a ten-storied building in Dhaka. In the lift, I often see my neighbors. I seldom exchange greetings with them. They are neither my friends nor relatives. Some people may not like it, but who cares?
Monju: I love driving my car at high speed and blowing horns. It’s others’ responsibility to make room for me. My car is very expensive! Sometimes I am annoyed by other vehicles. They ignore my honking!
Abir: I’m very special at home. My parents and other members of my family do everything as I desire. From food to furniture—everything goes by my choice.
Mim Hla: I’m a free-will agent. I don’t mind expressing my own opinions or intervening even when my elders are speaking to themselves.
Topon: That day one of my teachers forbade me to shake my legs. I don’t know what is wrong with it. I also don’t think I need to say ‘thank you’ and ‘please’ every time I take a service or gift from someone. Gratefulness lies in the heart. Why do you need to express it?
Bidhan: My father always asks my grandma what to buy when going for weekly grocery. My mom also asks her what to cook, and we never go anywhere keeping my grandma alone. I love her so much.
Bokul: I’m very choosy about the foods that I eat. When I visit someone and find different types of food on the dining table, I never take any food that I don’t like. Even when I’m asked to take the food, I say—I won’t take it as I don’t like it. After all, it’s my choice.
Tinku: My friend, Nabila, is addicted to Facebook. Even when she attends classes or visits any social program, she never lets a second go without visiting Facebook. She never speaks to others and rarely makes eye contact with anyone around her.
Kanta: I don’t like social network media as people are very showy there. Sometimes they post items that I don’t feel like seeing. I always remember that social network media steal our time which we can give to our study.
Shayeri: When I’m online or on any social networking site, I have liberty. So I express my own ideas as I like. If I read or see something that does not go with my choice, I take a hand. Since no one sees me face to face, I enjoy my liberty.
Shammi: My Facebook account is mine. Who are you to tell me what I should post, what language I should use, or what opinion I should express!
Answer of the two question:
Statement I Like the Most
I like Bidhan’s statement the most. Bidhan shows deep respect and love for his grandmother by always considering her opinions and never leaving her alone. This demonstrates strong family values and consideration for elders, which are important aspects of good manners and etiquette.
Feelings About the Others
- Kristi’s statement reflects a lack of consideration for others at social gatherings. While Kristi’s efficiency is noted, her approach might come off as inconsiderate or rude to others who might expect a more communal and polite behavior.
- Sayem’s statement shows a lack of courtesy towards neighbors. Ignoring greetings can be perceived as unfriendly or disrespectful, which affects community relations and social harmony.
- Monju’s attitude of driving recklessly and expecting others to move for him demonstrates a disregard for public safety and respect for others on the road. This behavior is inconsiderate and potentially dangerous.
- Abir’s statement indicates a sense of entitlement and self-centeredness. While it’s natural to have preferences, expecting everything to be tailored to one’s own desires without consideration for others can be seen as self-indulgent.
- Mim Hla’s approach to expressing opinions without regard for others, especially elders, can be perceived as disrespectful and lacking in basic courtesy. It’s important to balance personal expression with respect for others.
- Topon’s statement shows a misunderstanding of basic manners, such as shaking legs in formal settings or expressing gratitude. This reflects a need for a better understanding of social norms and etiquette.
- Bokul’s selective eating and refusal to try new foods without polite consideration might be seen as impolite and ungrateful when visiting others. It’s important to be courteous and open to trying what is offered.
- Tinku’s description of Nabila’s excessive Facebook use highlights a lack of social engagement and interaction. This behavior may come off as rude or disconnected from real-life social contexts.
- Kanta’s dislike for social media and the belief that it wastes time on studying suggests a dismissive attitude towards modern social interactions and technology. While it’s important to manage time well, dismissing social media entirely might overlook its benefits.
- Shayeri’s statement about expressing opinions freely online without regard for others’ feelings indicates a disregard for the impact of one’s words in a public space. It’s important to balance freedom of expression with responsibility and respect for others.
- Shammi’s defiant attitude towards feedback on social media can be seen as a lack of respect for community standards and norms. It’s crucial to navigate personal expression with sensitivity towards others’ perspectives.
B. Read the Following Statement Work in pairs and identify which statement in Section A is related to manners and which one to etiquette.
“I make a distinction between manners and etiquette. Manners as the principles, which are eternal and universal, etiquette as the particular rules which are arbitrary and different in different times, different situations, different cultures.” – Judith Martin
Work in pairs and identify which statement in Section A is related to manners and which one to etiquette.
Answer:
To classify the statements from Section A based on Judith Martin’s distinction between manners and etiquette:
Manners (Principles that are eternal and universal):
- Bidhan: “My father always asks my grandma what to buy when going for weekly grocery. My mom also asks her what to cook, And we never go anywhere keeping my grandma alone. I love her so much.”
- Reason: This statement reflects universal principles of respect and care for family, which are considered timeless manners.
Etiquette (Particular rules that are arbitrary and different in different contexts):
- Kristi: “When I attend any wedding or birthday party, I always wait for the food. As soon as the food is served, I take my portion and immediately after I’ve finished, I leave. I have no time to wait for others. Besides, I don’t know others, so why wait?”
- Reason: This reflects specific social behavior related to event etiquette, which can vary depending on cultural norms and personal preferences.
- Sayem: “I live in a flat in a ten-storied building in Dhaka. In the lift, I often see my neighbours. I seldom exchange greetings with them. They are neither my friends nor relatives. Some people may not like it, but who cares?”
- Reason: This statement pertains to local norms of social interaction and greetings, which can vary widely depending on cultural and situational context.
- Monju: “I love driving my car at high speed and blowing horns. It’s others’ responsibility to make room for me. My car is very expensive! Sometimes I am annoyed by other vehicles. They ignore my honking!”
- Reason: This statement is about driving behavior and social norms on the road, which can differ by culture and context.
- Abir: “I’m very special at home. My parents and other members of my family do everything as I desire. From food to furniture—everything goes by my choice.”
- Reason: This reflects family-specific rules and expectations, which can vary based on individual family dynamics and cultural background.
- Mim Hla: “I’m a free-will agent. I don’t mind expressing my own opinions or intervening even when my elders are speaking to themselves.”
- Reason: This pertains to cultural norms regarding respect for elders and personal expression, which can vary across different cultures.
- Topon: “That day one of my teachers forbade me to shake my legs. I don’t know what is wrong with it. I also don’t think I need to say ‘thank you’ and ‘please’ every time I take a service or gift from someone. Gratefulness lies in the heart. Why do you need to express it?”
- Reason: This involves specific social norms related to politeness and expressions of gratitude, which can differ by culture and context.
- Bokul: “I’m very choosy about the foods that I eat. When I visit someone and find different types of food on the dining table, I never take any food that I don’t like. Even when I’m asked to take the food, I say—I won’t take it as I don’t like it. After all, it’s my choice.”
- Reason: This pertains to dining etiquette and personal choices, which can vary based on social norms and cultural practices.
- Tinku: “My friend, Nabila, is addicted to Facebook. Even when she attends classes or visits any social program, she never lets a second go without visiting Facebook. She never speaks to others and rarely makes eye contact with anyone around her.”
- Reason: This concerns social media etiquette and online behavior, which can vary depending on the platform and personal habits.
- Kanta: “I don’t like social network media as people are very showy there. Sometimes they post items that I don’t feel like seeing. I always remember that social network media steals our time which we can give to our study.”
- Reason: This is about personal preferences and opinions on social media usage, reflecting specific attitudes towards modern communication platforms.
- Shayeri: “When I’m online or on any social networking site, I have liberty. So I express my own ideas as I like. If I read or see something that does not go with my choice, I take a hand. Since no one sees me face to face, I enjoy my liberty.”
- Reason: This relates to personal freedom and behavior online, which can vary depending on individual attitudes and cultural norms.
- Shammi: “My Facebook account is mine. Who are you to tell me what I should post, what language I should use, or what opinion I should express!”
- Reason: This reflects attitudes towards self-expression and social media norms, which can differ based on personal beliefs and cultural contexts.
C. Below you will see parts of a story told by a Spanish writer, Pedro Pablo Sacristan. Work in pairs and reorganize them to a cohesive text. When you have finished, set a title of the story.
- The machine started working and it gave the man complete satisfaction. People from their long practice would try to say thank you, so kind of you, my pleasure, don’t mention it etc. as to appreciate others or express gratitude. But their tongue could not produce these words. The machine caught them. It resulted in a huge change in people’s behaviour and attitudes. Gradually people became rough and tough, they lost their mental cool, they were blaming each other or fighting with each other. They became so selfish that they started refusing to help others without having a return for their service. Love, respect, affections, fellow feelings became some unknown words and, eventually, they were missing from people’s practices.
2. The man was terribly happy with his success, but he didn’t count on two little girls of special needs. They had speech difficulty and so they used to communicate using sign language. Since the machine couldn’t steal gestures, these girls continued their previous practices of being kind and polite. Soon they realised the difference between them and other people which led them to investigate the reason. After much toil, they could discover the wicked man, who was in a hide out on the top of a hill next to the sea with his enormous machine busy in capturing people’s polite words and separating them into letters. The girls found the man taking a nap when they crept up to the machine and rewind it so that people could get back to their normal behaviour.
3. The man considered all these expressions extravagant. So, he took a mission to invent a device that would steal these polite words. He calculated two benefits from his efforts. One, people won’t use these words and thus he would be relieved of his apathy to people’s polite behavior and the second one was earning money by selling the words stolen by the machine to somebody else. He took great caution so that nobody would understand his secret plan. After a few months’ hard work, he succeeded in inventing the machine he desired for a long long time.
4. Once upon a time, there was a strange man who was highly bothered to see others’ happiness. His own personal interest was at any cost important to him. Neither was he a polite man, nor did he like other people to be polite to each other. In fact, he hated the courteous and polite people around him and thus he hated a few expressions like please, thank you, don’t mention it etc. It troubled him a lot when people around were smiling to use these expressions.
5. As a result, the machine exploded, scattering all the letters it had gathered into the sky. After some moments, the letters started coming down, like rain, and ended up in the sea. After that, everyone became polite and respectful to each other again. The anger and the arguments stopped, proving that good manners are very useful for keeping people together in a spirit of happiness. just need organization
Answer:
Title: The Machine That Stole Politeness
Once upon a time, there was a strange man who was highly bothered to see others’ happiness. His own personal interest was at any cost important to him. Neither was he a polite man, nor did he like other people to be polite to each other. In fact, he hated the courteous and polite people around him and thus he hated a few expressions like please, thank you, don’t mention it, etc. It troubled him a lot when people around were smiling and using these expressions.
The man considered all these expressions extravagant. So, he took a mission to invent a device that would steal these polite words. He calculated two benefits from his efforts. One, people wouldn’t use these words, and thus he would be relieved of his apathy to people’s polite behavior. The second was earning money by selling the words stolen by the machine to somebody else. He took great caution so that nobody would understand his secret plan. After a few months’ hard work, he succeeded in inventing the machine he desired for a long, long time.
The machine started working and it gave the man complete satisfaction. People, from their long practice, would try to say thank you, so kind of you, my pleasure, don’t mention it, etc., to appreciate others or express gratitude. But their tongues could not produce these words. The machine caught them. It resulted in a huge change in people’s behavior and attitudes. Gradually, people became rough and tough; they lost their mental cool. They were blaming each other or fighting with each other. They became so selfish that they started refusing to help others without having a return for their service. Love, respect, affections, fellow feelings became some unknown words and, eventually, they were missing from people’s practices.
The man was terribly happy with his success, but he didn’t count on two little girls of special needs. They had speech difficulties and so they used to communicate using sign language. Since the machine couldn’t steal gestures, these girls continued their previous practices of being kind and polite. Soon they realized the difference between them and other people, which led them to investigate the reason. After much toil, they discovered the wicked man, who was in a hideout on the top of a hill next to the sea with his enormous machine busy capturing people’s polite words and separating them into letters. The girls found the man taking a nap when they crept up to the machine and rewound it so that people could get back to their normal behavior.
As a result, the machine exploded, scattering all the letters it had gathered into the sky. After some moments, the letters started coming down like rain and ended up in the sea. After that, everyone became polite and respectful to each other again. The anger and the arguments stopped, proving that good manners are very useful for keeping people together in a spirit of happiness.
D. Story Questions
- What is the story about?
- What made the strange man invent a machine which would destroy all the good words?
- How did the machine change people’s attitudes?
- Why did the girls start exchanging polite words with each other? What was the consequence?
Answer:
- What is the story about?
The story is about a strange man who invents a machine designed to destroy all the good words in the world, with the intention of creating a more efficient and truthful society. However, the absence of kind words leads to a breakdown in social harmony, prompting people, particularly the girls in the town, to begin exchanging polite words again to restore peace and improve relationships.
- What made the strange man invent a machine which would destroy all the good words?
The strange man believed that eliminating kind words would result in a more truthful and efficient society. He thought that by removing what he saw as unnecessary niceties, people would communicate more directly and honestly.
- How did the machine change people’s attitudes?
The machine’s destruction of kind words led to increased conflicts and misunderstandings among people. Without kind and polite words, social interactions became harsher and more contentious, leading to a decline in social harmony and cooperation.
- Why did the girls start exchanging polite words with each other? What was the consequence?
The girls started exchanging polite words with each other as a response to the negative changes in social interactions caused by the machine. They realized the importance of kind words in maintaining harmony and good
Unit 2: Lesson 1 What is a dream?
E. Think whether anyone you know needs to improve manners and etiquette.
Make a plan on how to help him or her.
Answer:
Plan to Help Improve Manners and Etiquette
Identify the Person
- Name: [Person’s Name]
- Relationship: [e.g., friend, family member, colleague]
- Current Behavior: [Brief description of their behavior and the specific areas that need improvement]
Set Clear Goals
- Specific Areas to Improve:
- Manners: [e.g., saying “please” and “thank you,” not interrupting others, respecting personal space]
- Etiquette: [e.g., proper dining etiquette, appropriate greetings, polite conversation skills]
Steps to Help Improve
- Observation and Feedback
- Observe: Spend time observing their behavior in various social situations.
- Provide Feedback: Offer constructive feedback in a private and non-judgmental manner. Highlight both positive behaviors and areas needing improvement.
- Education
- Provide Resources: Share articles, books, or videos on manners and etiquette. For example, “Emily Post’s Etiquette” or online resources like The Distilled Man.
- Discuss Examples: Use real-life examples to illustrate good manners and etiquette. Discuss what went wrong and how it could be improved.
- Role-Playing and Practice
- Role-Playing: Engage in role-playing scenarios to practice proper manners and etiquette in a safe environment.
- Practice in Real Situations: Encourage them to apply what they’ve learned in real-life situations. Provide gentle reminders when necessary.
- Positive Reinforcement
- Acknowledge Improvements: Recognize and praise their efforts and improvements, no matter how small.
- Reward System: Create a reward system for consistent positive behavior. Rewards can be simple, like verbal praise or small treats.
- Set an Example
- Model Good Behavior: Demonstrate good manners and etiquette yourself. Be a role model for the behavior you want to see in them.
- Regular Check-Ins
- Follow Up: Have regular check-ins to discuss progress and any challenges they might be facing. Adjust the plan as necessary.
Timeline
- Week 1-2: Observation and initial feedback.
- Week 3-4: Education and role-playing.
- Week 5-6: Practice in real situations with positive reinforcement.
- Week 7: Review progress and make any necessary adjustments.
Supportive Attitude
- Be Patient: Understand that changing behavior takes time.
- Be Encouraging: Always offer support and encouragement throughout the process.
By following this plan, you can help [Person’s Name] improve their manners and etiquette, leading to better social interactions and relationships.