Lesson 1: Manners Around the World

Unit Three: Lifestyle

A. Look at the pictures.

 

Where are the people from? What is common among them? Do you notice any difference? What difference is most obvious here?

Unit 2: Lesson 2- Dream 

Answer:

1. Where are the people from?
   • The people are from different parts of the world, specifically China, South Africa, Great Britain, and the Middle East.
2. What is common among them?
   • All the people are engaged in activities related to manners and etiquette, such as dining, giving gifts, and greeting each other. They all follow specific cultural norms and practices to show respect and politeness in their interactions.
3. Do you notice any difference?
   • Yes, there are differences in their cultural practices and norms. Each culture has unique ways of showing respect, politeness, and proper behavior in social situations.
4. What difference is most obvious here?
   • The most obvious difference is in their dining etiquette, gift-giving customs, and greeting methods. For example, the use of chopsticks in China, the informal attire in South Africa, the formal table manners in Great Britain, and the emphasis on using the right hand in the Middle East are all distinct practices that highlight cultural diversity.

Unit 2: Lesson 3- Dream 

B. Read the texts describing the manners and etiquettes in different countries.

Then work in pairs to identify their similarities and dissimilarities with those of your own country.

China

• Dining:
  • Sit where you are instructed to sit. Be graceful and polite when taking food. Don’t make much noise when eating or drinking soup. Don’t play with chopsticks or point at anyone with them. For a formal dinner, wear appropriate attire.
• Gift:
  • Present and receive things with both hands. Politely refusing a gift before accepting it is the norm in Chinese culture. White flowers are not good gifts as they symbolize death.
• Greetings:
  • Shake hands softly as a firm handshake could be considered a sign of aggression. Greet the most senior first and gradually others. Children are expected to greet you rather than you greeting the children.

South Africa

• Dining:
  • Arrive on time. Wear casual clothes. Offer help to the hostess with the preparation of the meal and clearing up after the meal is over. The guest is served first, then gradually the oldest male, rest of the men, children, and finally women. Do not begin to eat or drink anything until the oldest man at the table has begun. South African people usually do not use the left hand in taking meals.
• Gift:
  • In general, South Africans give gifts on birthdays and Christmas. It is common for several friends to share the cost of a gift. If you are invited to a South African’s home, bring flowers and good quality chocolates to the host family.
• Greetings:
  • When dealing with foreigners, most South Africans shake hands with a smile while maintaining eye contact. Some women do not shake hands and merely nod their heads, so it is best to wait for a woman to extend her hand. Men may kiss a woman they know well on the cheek in place of a handshake. Greetings are leisurely and are marked by good cheers.

Great Britain

• Dining:
  • If you are invited to a dinner wait until your host(ess) indicates you to begin eating. You may use a piece of bread on a fork to soak up sauce or gravy. Never hold the bread in your fingers to do this. You may eat chicken and pizza with your fingers if you are at a barbecue, or in a very informal setting. Otherwise always use a knife and fork.
• Gift:
  • It is customary to take a small gift for the host if invited to a home. This is usually flowers or chocolates. Some people may send flowers in advance of a dinner party but it is equally acceptable to take them on the day. Gifts are opened on receipt.
• Greetings:
  • A handshake is the most common form of greeting among the British people and is customary when you are introduced to somebody new. It is only when you meet a friend of the opposite sex whom you haven’t seen for a long time that you would give a kiss on the cheek.

Middle East

• Dining:
  • Use your right hand when picking up and eating food; never your left hand, which you keep at your side. Do not place your left hand on the table, and do not use it to pass food. People use spoons, forks, and knives if necessary, and hardly any utensils.
• Gift:
  • Gifts are given frequently to show love, gratitude, and respect. Anytime you are invited to someone’s place, bring a gift. The most common gifts are food items such as pastries, chocolates, sweets, and cookies. Dates are also commonly given as gifts. People also value food and arts and crafts items from other cultures.
• Greetings:
  • The most common greeting is “salaam alaykum” (‘May peace be upon you’), to which the reply is “waalaykum as salaam” (‘and peace be upon you too’). Shaking hands (between men) is an important gesture of mutual respect. Hugging and kissing on the cheeks between same-sex people in social situations are quite common though it is strictly forbidden between men and women.

C. Country Activities

 

Lesson 1 -Unforgettable History 

Read the text in Activity B again and put a tick mark against the country to which the activities mentioned in the columns above apply.

Answer: 

Country	Handshake	Hugging	Kissing on the cheeks	Giving flowers	Using the right hand to take foods	Using both hands to give gifts	Use of knives and forks most of the time
China	√					√	√
South Africa	√		√	√			√
Great Britain	√		√	√		√	√
Middle East	√	√	√		√

D. Work in pairs/groups.

Make a presentation on Bangladeshi etiquette of dining, exchanging gifts, and greetings.

Answer: 

Presentation on Bangladeshi Etiquette of Dining, Exchanging Gifts, and Greetings

1. Dining Etiquette

• Seating Arrangement: Guests are usually seated in a specific order. The most honored guest is seated first.
• Use of Hands: Only the right hand is used for eating, as the left hand is considered unclean. It’s important to keep the left hand off the table.
• Utensils: While traditional meals are often eaten with hands, spoons, forks, and knives are used when necessary.
• Serving Food: It is polite to serve others before serving oneself. Elders are served first.
• Refusing Food: It is customary to initially refuse food once or twice before accepting it.
• Making Noise: Making noise while eating, such as slurping or chewing loudly, is considered impolite.
• Finishing Food: It is respectful to finish all the food on your plate, showing appreciation for the meal.

2. Exchanging Gifts

• Occasions: Gifts are commonly given during festivals, weddings, and other special occasions.
• Types of Gifts: Popular gifts include sweets, fruits, clothing, and household items.
• Presentation: Gifts are usually wrapped nicely. It is also common to present gifts with both hands as a sign of respect.
• Receiving Gifts: It is polite to express gratitude when receiving a gift. Gifts are often opened later, in private.
• Refusing Gifts: Initially refusing a gift before accepting it is a common practice, showing humility and politeness.

3. Greetings

• Common Greetings: The traditional greeting is “Assalamu Alaikum” (Peace be upon you), with the response being “Walaikum Assalam” (And peace be upon you too).
• Physical Gestures: A handshake is common between men. Women may greet each other with a handshake or a hug. It is uncommon for men and women to shake hands.
• Showing Respect: Younger people show respect to elders by touching their feet and then their own forehead.
• Addressing Others: Using titles and honorifics when addressing elders or those in higher positions is important. Terms like “Bhai” (brother) or “Apu” (sister) are used to address peers respectfully.
• Eye Contact: Maintaining moderate eye contact is a sign of respect, but prolonged eye contact, especially with the opposite gender, is considered impolite.

Understanding and respecting these cultural etiquettes is essential for social harmony and demonstrating respect within Bangladeshi society. By following these practices, one can navigate social interactions gracefully and show appreciation for the rich cultural heritage of Bangladesh.

Lesson 2: Nelson Mandela 

E. Listen to Ms. Antara Gomes

An English teacher in a college, she is telling her students about table manners.

(Audio recording)

Transcript:

Hello guys,

Hope you all are well. You know manners and etiquette are so vital in our life. We cannot claim ourselves civilized when we lack them. Every society has particular manners and etiquettes to follow. Etiquette is also very important nowadays when you are online or surf in the virtual world. Netizens i.e. habitual or keen users of the Internet, call it netiquette (etiquette you show on the net).

Anyway, today I’m going to share with you something related to manners — table manners. Have you heard of Kyle Ingham? Kyle Ingham is the Founder and Editor of The Distilled Man, an online channel that helps young people become well-rounded gentle persons. Read what he says about table manners and see whether you maintain any of these manners.

Table Manners 101: Basic Dining Etiquette

May 20, 2017 | By Kyle Ingham |

When you hear the words “table manners” you may just think of arbitrary rules for rules’ sake. But at their core, manners are just about being considerate and respectful to the people around you.

Table manners are particularly important. Let’s face it.

People are usually disgusted when you’re eating with a person chomping and slurping and burping and splattering. Because of that, table manners have always been a good ‘tell’ about someone’s overall refinement, their upbringing, and self-awareness around other people.

Why Table Manners Matter

Often the reason someone might be concerned about your table manners isn’t because your lack of manners bothers them. Instead, they might be worried it bothers someone else.

For instance, when you eat dinner with your friend’s family for the first time, s/he may not care that you behave like a total buffoon at the table when you’re just around him/her but s/he may worry that the parents will be bothered by your poor dining etiquette because good manners are a sign of respect.

That’s also why nowadays employers will often take you out to dinner as part of the interview process. Again, maybe the hiring manager doesn’t care if you have bad table manners, but they may worry that your potential clients will be bothered that you eat like an absent-minded caveman.

So, my thought is, even if you don’t practice perfect table manners at home, you should know how to behave for those important occasions.

Unit 1: Lesson 3 : Two Women 

What is your opinion about table manners?

Answer:

Yes, I agree with Mr. Ingham’s explanation. Table manners are indeed a reflection of one’s consideration and respect for others. While some might view these rules as arbitrary, they play a crucial role in social interactions. Good table manners show that a person is aware of and sensitive to the comfort of those around them. This awareness can significantly impact social and professional relationships, as poor table manners might make others uncomfortable and reflect negatively on one’s upbringing and social refinement. Understanding and practicing proper table manners ensures that one can navigate various social settings gracefully and respectfully.

Do you agree with Mr. Ingham’s explanation on the importance of table manners? Why/Why not?

Answer:

I agree because table manners are not just about following a set of rules but about showing respect and consideration for others in a shared social setting. Good table manners help to create a pleasant dining experience for everyone and can prevent potential awkwardness or discomfort. In professional settings, such as during interviews or business dinners, demonstrating proper table manners can influence how others perceive you, affecting opportunities and relationships. Thus, even if one might not practice these manners regularly at home, knowing and applying them in important situations is valuable for maintaining positive and respectful interactions with others.

 

F. Mr. Ingham has given some tips on table manners especially when you are eating with others. His tips cover a number of areas which are mentioned in the box. Read each of the tips from number 1-7, match them with the title of the areas given in the box and write them in the blank spaces. The first one is done for you.

 

Body language

Today we’re going to talk about some simple guidelines that will help keep your table manners on-point throughout an entire meal. Listen to the audio or read on.

When you’re just about to sit down at the table, that’s a good time to silent your phone— you don’t want to be THAT GUY whose phone is going off throughout the meal. You should also wait until everyone is gathered at the table before sitting down. And sometimes it’s good to take a cue from the host or hostess. Make sure you don’t take a special seat— like the head of the table, or inadvertently steal the best seat.

Answer: 

1. Body language: When you’re sitting down, your posture should be upright and attentive. Make sure you are not slouching or leaning back in your chair.
2. Starting the Meal: As much as you might want to just tear into your food when it comes…wait until everyone else is served before starting. If it’s a very formal dinner, you should also wait until the host or hostess gives the indication to start eating. But usually, you’re safe to start if everyone’s food has arrived.
3. Requesting help: Just because the butter is just close enough that you can grab it doesn’t mean you should. Stretching across the table or reaching over someone else’s plate is a big ‘No’. If something is within arm’s length and you can reach it without disturbing someone else’s space, that’s OK. Otherwise, politely ask them, “Can you please pass the…?” Also, remember that when someone asks for the salt, make sure to pass both the salt and pepper…and vice versa.
4. Eating food you don’t like: What if you’re at someone’s house and they serve something you don’t like? Rather than avoiding it altogether, the polite approach is to serve yourself one or two bites, and at least taste it. (Unless you are so allergic that it makes your face puff up like a basketball— which is not polite either … ). It’s okay to leave a little bit on your plate to show that you tried it, and just HOPE they’re not too insistent on you having seconds.
5. Chewing and talking: You probably already know that you shouldn’t talk with your mouth full of food. Try to avoid smacking and chewing loudly, and keep your mouth shut while chewing. The easiest way to do this is to just take smaller bites— especially if you know you’re going to be in and out of conversation throughout the meal. If you need to get something out of your mouth (like a piece of gristle i.e. food stuck between your teeth), you can use your fingers to quickly and discreetly take it out. But try to cover your mouth with your hand or your napkin while you’re doing it. Once you grab the piece of food, quickly and quietly put it on the edge of your plate.
6. Excusing yourself from the table: If you need to go to the bathroom or get up from the table during the meal, you don’t need to ask for permission. You also don’t need to say where you’re going. Just say “excuse me, I’ll be right back.” Then get up quietly and leave the table without disturbing the others.
7. Being part of the group: Dinner is meant to be social. Make sure you take part in the dinner conversation, and also take note if it seems like you’re eating much faster or much slower than everyone else. By the end of the meal, some people take a few glasses of water in gulps and some people consider it worthy to belch out publicly, which are weird. If drinking water is a need, take in little sips without making any sound and wipe your lips. Don’t sneeze or make any foul sounds to clean your throat in front of others. Make sure you are not scattering foods around your plate. Nobody likes to experience a messy dining table around.

Unit 2: Lesson 1 What is a dream?

G. Now, read how Mr. Ingham concludes his tips on table manners. To understand the conclusion you need to fill in the gaps in the text below with suitable words taken from the box.

 

Box:

• gentleperson
• appreciate
• proper
• realize
• offended
• keep up
• accepted
• are
• behave
• manners

Answer:

I know sometimes manners and etiquette seem arbitrary. But at the end of the day, these guidelines are established as a universal set of behavior— so that we can all behave civilly around each other. Not everyone is going to be offended if you don’t follow these guidelines. But once you learn these basic table manners, you realize that they’re not difficult to keep up. So why not practice proper dining etiquette? It certainly isn’t hard to try, and many people will appreciate that you are conscientious enough to behave like a gentleperson at the table.

H. Reflect on your everyday dining practices

Write whether these tips are helpful for you. If yes, why; if not why not?

Answer:

Yes, these tips are helpful for me.

Why?

The tips provided on table manners are valuable because they help ensure that dining experiences are pleasant and respectful for everyone involved. Following these guidelines—such as waiting for everyone to be served before starting, using proper utensils, and avoiding talking with a mouth full—contributes to a more refined and considerate dining atmosphere. They also help in making positive impressions in social and professional settings. By adhering to these practices, one can avoid making others uncomfortable and demonstrate a high level of respect and awareness. Overall, these tips align with the principles of courtesy and consideration, which are important in maintaining harmonious interactions during meals.